Long John Peg-Tooth
No matter what they say about getting a pain-free tooth extraction these days, this is what I have in my mind’s eye:
And if that’s not bad enough to make me want to swallow a bottle of Xanax, it’s one of my front teeth. But it has to be yanked out. I have a raging infection. It’s like I have microscopic piranhas in my mouth eating away at my jawbone.
After the yanking, I need a bone graft to strengthen my weakened jawbone. The dentist said he uses cadaver bones. So I’ll have a dead person’s bone in my mouth. Why does this come to mind?
They gave me a “flipper,” what a cute word for a fake tooth. This is on the way to a dental implant. This is a happy occasion, the dentist said. It should look like this:
But I can’t help thinking it will look like this… Long John Peg-Tooth?
But back to the yanking. I see myself tomorrow, waiting for the dentist, who is armed with AK-47 plyers…
I know. It’s only a tooth. So I’ll enjoy my last day with that front tooth…by biting into a hard, honey crisp apple.